Screen Shot 2015-01-27 at 3.00.42 PM

Featured Articles


Homecoming Could Have Gone Better

by Dylan Teague Homecoming Harlot October 2014 The Vanderbilt Football team came home to find another team had moved in.  While this Homecoming was marked as having Bill Nye, a Ludacris Quake, and boisterous reunion with the alumni, the good times took a turn when the football finally came back home.  In the time they […]


Little Engine That Could, Many Years Later

by James Cross Rufio Rufiosa February 2015 “Hey Little Engine, I think you’ve had enough,” said the bartender. “I’ll tell you when I’ve had enough, damn it!” replied Little Engine, slurring over his last two words. Then he buried his face in his hands and began to cry. “How’d this happen?” he cried to no […]


Vanderbilt Humans Only 8% of Campus Population

by Roshan Poudel Demographics Demigod October 2014 Just last week Vanderbilt University released data from the thousands of surveys conducted at the beginning of the year and one statistic stood out among the rest: humans comprise 8% of the population and squirrels dropped 3% from last year to make up nearly 92% of Vanderbilt’s population. […]


SAE Creates GoFundMe to Purchase Campus Monkey

by Lily Williams Animal Activist January 2015 Sigma Alpha Epsilon fraternity at Vanderbilt has created a new fundraising page in order to attain a pet Rhesus monkey for their house and for the student body’s enjoyment. SAE is notorious for their profitable fundraising abilities, their most recent campaign being the effort to raise funds to […]


Georgia Tailback Todd Gurley Suspended for Signing Autographs for Sick Children

By Bonhwang Koo Alleged Autographer October 2014 University of Georgia star running back and 2014 Heisman trophy candidate Todd Gurley has been suspended for allegedly violating NCAA rules. According to a source who wishes to remain anonymous, the football team visited patients at the Children’s Hospital of Georgia in Augusta to raise their spirits in […]

teenage girl studying

Girl Studies in Library for Figuratively 500 Hours

By James Cross Workaholic Alcoholic October 2014 Biology major Becky Connors reported to her best friend, Sarah, that she had studied in the Vanderbilt Central Library for “like figuratively 500 hours” this past week. During midterm week, Connors took an Organic Chemistry test. It is no secret that Organic Chemistry is one of the most […]

It’s Not that Hard to Whisper

by Roshan Poudel November 2014 Lights are dimmed. It is time to start, Me and my buddy Are just a seat apart. The professor begins, We follow his chalk. We follow his moves, We follow his talk. My friend turns to me, He has something to say. I know it is coming, There’s no other […]


Student Fails to Tell Professor He Goes By Middle Name

by Colin Freilich Nominal Nuisance January 2015 Vanderbilt University sophomore Josiah Michael Morrison failed to inform one of his professors that he has preferred to be referred to by his middle name, “Mike,” instead of his first name, “Josiah,” for as long as he can remember. When Professor Michelle Ramos reached his name while calling […]


This publication is a work of humor, parody and satire. None of the subjects or writers are intended to represent real people, unless those people are public figures. You must be over 18 to read The Slant. This publication and the content thereof does not always reflect the opinions of Vanderbilt Student Communications, Inc. All stories and images are the properties of their respective owners. Each member of the Vanderbilt community is entitled to one copy of this publication; additional copies are five dollars each. If The Slant offends you, do not read it. Support our advertisers.