Grant Paton Ass Assassin November 2014 After venturing into main campus for the first time, Vanderbilt University Medical Center proctologist Aston Payne was ecstatic about the circular statue outside of Rand, describing it as, “a masterful artistic representation of the human anus.” The statue in question, “Antirocker” by recently deceased sculptor Steve Benneyworth, is located […]
By Mary Beth Schatzman Military Model October 2014 Earlier this week, White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest released a statement from the Obama administration that promised that “This Middle East business is not going to be like Vietnam. Seriously.” This declaration came in response to public criticism that the fear of terrorism, like the fear […]
by Alex Wolfe November 2014 ‘Twas the night ‘fore Black Friday, and outside the store ‘Twas a large mob of people trying to beat down the door. The deals were hung up round the store with great care, In the hopes that soon all the walls would be bare. The shoppers were wishing they’d stayed […]
“Feminism, Equality or Affirmative Action?” By Kathy Yuan A heartfelt note to the author: We so enjoyed your satirical op-ed in last week’s Hustler that we wanted to spotlight it in our October edition, where we at The Slant feel it more sincerely belongs. Your pointed spin on such a sensitive issue was so subtly […]
by Matthew Brian Schwartz October 2014
Colorado inhabitants are raising their joints to the heavens in honor of this perceived advancement for potheads everywhere.
Collins starred in the hit ABC family series 7th Heaven. “Do you see this guy’s face? We really should have seen that coming.” -Stephen Collin’s Agent
By Owen Akeley Ritual Reporter November 2014 This past Halloween, while many people on campus were concerning themselves over weaving thick, woolen alcohol blankets over their scant dressings or pondering the maximum slutitudinal factor to which any given costume could be taken, the ghost of former Velvet Underground front man Lou Reed rose within the […]