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Featured Articles

Top 10 2016 Movies We’re Looking Forward To In 2015

by Mary Beth Schatzman Cinema Sampler January 2015 10. The Hobbit 4: Electric Boogaloo – Catering to the desires of a dedicated and multigenerational fandom, Peter Jackson took all of the extra footage from the previous six movies and cut it into one five-hour film. In the background will play ‘80s dance music layered with […]


The Natty Light Can

by Mary Beth Schatzman October 2014 so much relies on a silver Natty can glazed in rain water surrounded by white girls.

November Potato

November Named General Awareness Month

by Mary Beth Schatzman Monthly Mediator Novemeber 2014 In response to the “November Fifth Phenomenon,” – in which the call to “remember the fifth of November” causes some to forget the rest of the month altogether – some suggest that the many month-long awareness campaigns held in November will help the ordinary person to recall […]

It’s Not that Hard to Whisper

by Roshan Poudel November 2014 Lights are dimmed. It is time to start, Me and my buddy Are just a seat apart. The professor begins, We follow his chalk. We follow his moves, We follow his talk. My friend turns to me, He has something to say. I know it is coming, There’s no other […]


You’ll Never Guess What This White Female 20-Something is Asking Money For

by Mary Beth Schatzman Professor Blackboard February 2015 My name is Mary Beth Schatzman, and I would like to establish myself as a Pokémon master. I have been working toward this goal since the tender age of six, and I would really appreciate your support. Unfortunately, there are several problems surrounding the accomplishment of this […]


Decrease in Rand Sales Due to Dormitory Donner Parties on Commons

by Lily Williams Culinary Connoisseur January 2015 The onset of “Arctic temperatures” has caused a significant decrease in Rand Dining Hall’s sales, but not for bad reason. Students have formed a new dinner club, calling their events “Donner Parties”, and are hosting meals in their dormitories in lieu of traveling through the cold to campus’ […]


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