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Featured Articles

It’s Not that Hard to Whisper

by Roshan Poudel November 2014 Lights are dimmed. It is time to start, Me and my buddy Are just a seat apart. The professor begins, We follow his chalk. We follow his moves, We follow his talk. My friend turns to me, He has something to say. I know it is coming, There’s no other […]

Future Threatens to Sue Dystopian Writer for Libel

by James Cross Predictive Prick November 2014 The Future claims science fiction writers have been defiling his reputation for decades. Below is a letter The Future sent to one of these writers. Dear (REDACTED), I do not appreciate your gross, inaccurate overgeneralizations of me in (TITLE REDACTED). I have been consistently misrepresented in countless “post-apocalyptic” […]

3rd grade come back

23 Year Old Man Finally Thought of Comeback for 3rd Grade Argument

by Alex Wolfe Comeback Queen November 2014 According to investigative reports, accountant Robert Montgomery has apparently finally thought of a winning comeback to an argument from 3rd grade. Now 23 years old, Montgomery has spent most of his life try to think of a response to the “major burn” he endured during this highly formative […]

The-Chainsmokers

Bastard Confession

“Those girls were ugly as hell. Big mistake asking them to come on stage.” -The Chainsmokers

Man Finally Finds Woman Who is Solid Ex-Girlfriend Material

Roshan Poudel February 2015 After meeting Carrie Dunham at a mutual friend’s party, Michael Dillon is convinced she will one day make a great ex-girlfriend. “I was kind of hesitant to talk to her at first because it’s only been about two months since me and Stacy broke up,” said Michael. “But as soon as […]

Slant Recipe: Dinner for One

by Almaz Mesghina Ingredients: 2 large chicken breasts 1 tablespoon olive oil A hint of betrayal 1 onion, thinly sliced 1 cup, half empty 3/4 cup grape tomatoes, halved A couple of suspicious Facebook photos 2 potatoes, cut into even wedges A handful of spinach leaves 1 wedding, called off Salt and pepper to taste […]

Smashtacular

FOX Announces Second Family Guy Crossover

by Brandon Smith Cartoon Connoisseur October 2014 Thanks to the overwhelming success of The Simpsons Guy, which was Family Guy’s most watched episode since 2010, FOX has announced plans for a new crossover, entitled Smashtacular Squared. 20th Century FOX applauded the announcement, calling it “one of the most ambitious projects in the history of television.” […]

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