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Featured Articles

Sororities Hold Annual Lawn Sale

by Bryan Stromer Sneaky Salesman February 2015 During the week of January 10th to January 17th, Vanderbilt University’s PanHellenic sororities held their annual lawn sale. The lawn sale has become a celebrated tradition where perspective sorority members dump their most prized articles of apparel on the lawns of the sororities that they wish to join. […]

The Slant’s House Specialties: V-Day Edition!

by the Slant’s In-House Mixestimateologist For Our Readers Lucky Enough to have Cupid’s Arrow Shoved Up Their Ass: 6 Jolly Rancher Hard Candies 3 Ounces Smirnoff Whipped Cream Vodka 1.5 Ounces Bacardi Ω box Sweethearts 2 Hershey Kisses A Handful of Rose Petals Ω dose well ground Viagra. A few oysters. Teaspoon True Love 4 […]

nattylight

The Natty Light Can

by Mary Beth Schatzman October 2014 so much relies on a silver Natty can glazed in rain water surrounded by white girls.

nun

Vanderbilt Hires Nuns as Part of New Escort Service

by Jackson Parker Pious Peripatetic November 2014 In a recent effort to increase safety for students on their walks to and from residential halls and evening activities, Vanderbilt administration is working to implement a new transportation initiative involving Nashville nuns serving as walking escorts. Often times, students feel either too nervous or too incapacitated to […]

Sound Check Guy Discovers Love for Stage

by Sarah Vollman Music Maniac October 2014 After checking the microphones at an outdoor music festival this past weekend, equipment wrangler Mike Sennheiser is still refusing to leave the stage. The sound check professional insists he “was born to be a star,” although he did not realize so until now. Reports claim Mike’s face started […]

UterusSurgeon

Passing of New Amendment Allows Women to Bear More Children

Lily Williams Posh Politician November 2014 In Tennessee this week, women have been flooding doctor’s offices in a mad rush to obtain a second uterus. A new amendment, passed just last week, has finally enabled women to surgically insert a second uterus into their bodies. This second uterus allows women to produce multiple children at […]

Teenager Masturbates, Four Handshakes Removed From Lincoln

by Grant Paton Onanism  Official February 2015 Antioch boy Frank Handler, 15, spent the late hours of Friday night masturbating with a hand only four handshakes separated from legendary Abraham Lincoln, according to a source. In an exclusive interview, the chicken-choker admitted that he gave no extensive thought to the historical connections of his activity. […]

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