by Colin Freilich Nominal Nuisance January 2015 Vanderbilt University sophomore Josiah Michael Morrison failed to inform one of his professors that he has preferred to be referred to by his middle name, “Mike,” instead of his first name, “Josiah,” for as long as he can remember. When Professor Michelle Ramos reached his name while calling […]
by Alex Wolfe November 2014 ‘Twas the night ‘fore Black Friday, and outside the store ‘Twas a large mob of people trying to beat down the door. The deals were hung up round the store with great care, In the hopes that soon all the walls would be bare. The shoppers were wishing they’d stayed […]
by Mary Beth Schatzman October 2014 so much relies on a silver Natty can glazed in rain water surrounded by white girls.
by James Cross November 2014 Teacher walks into classroom late. Students are in their seats. Teacher: Hello class. I’m Mrs. Appleton. Turns to write on chalkboard. Welcome to Mind Reading 101. Now, I know what you’re thinking. Beat. If you’ll please open your textbooks to page three we can begin to discuss mind control. An […]
by Lily Williams November 2014 There once was an old man named Dick. One day he got really sick. He coughed and spurt Until it all hurt And then his wife got an STD.
by AJ Ballway Amateur Auteur January 2015 The White House released a statement early Wednesday morning stating it was planning on expanding the military’s drone program after the release of “Drone Boning,” a porno released by a New York-based company Ghost and Cow Films. “I believe this piece of All-American art presents a great opportunity […]
“I just want to fist a prehistoric whale’s pelvis, but my mom held me back.”
by Owen Akeley Athletic Applicant September 2014 This summer brought the sporting world’s eye to Brazil for the one and only World Cup. Sport, however, took a peripheral seat in many headlines, as the host nation faced a host of logistical and technical difficulties in the build-up to the event. Official reports claim that up […]
by Grant Paton Alternate Arnold November 2014 The Slant takes pride in delivering you the most up-to-date and accurate information the universe has to offer, but what about other universes? Due to our incredible journalistic power, we have some alternative reports for you. 1948 – Actor Ronald Reagan accepts a role in the movie “Kingston”, […]