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Spectral Celebrity Summoned by Students Celebrating Samhain

By Owen Akeley Ritual Reporter November 2014 This past Halloween, while many people on campus were concerning themselves over weaving thick, woolen alcohol blankets over their scant dressings or pondering the maximum slutitudinal factor to which any given costume could be taken, the ghost of former Velvet Underground front man Lou Reed rose within the […]

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Rowling Cryptic Tweet Hints at More Harry Potter Books

by Alex Wolfe Anagram Aficionado October 2014 J.K. Rowling’s latest tweet – “A ramble – I am my booby. So, no typewriter, no.” – has sent Harry Potter fans into a state of crisis as they struggle to find meaning within the cryptic phrase that anagrams into “I may write more soon … maybe … […]

BREAKING: Your Mom Was Well-Sexed By Me

by Almaz Mesghina Inspector Intercourse November 2014 A recent report from your mom said that I was good at banging her. When asked just how good she was sexed, your mom said that I was the best she ever had, and that I was so good that she forgot all her previous sex partners, including […]

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